A Study In Life:

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant."

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Broken

Posted by Olivia Lawrence on December 18, 2013 at 11:50 PM

I feel like I need an outlet of sorts, but I also don't want to open up to write a post about how I'm feeling and what I'm going through.  Suffice to say that I'm not doing well, and I'd rather just post these poems to speak for me right now, because they express better what I'm simply not able at the moment:

Heavy Mask

Don’t say a word

lock it away.      

The truths you can’t face

in a box will they stay.

Secrets unknown

to all but your self.

In a dark hidden place

on the back of a shelf.

Things like one’s doubts

one’s fears and one’s tears.

Things that would shame you

if any one hears.

All others know

what only you show.

A mask that you wear

hides the insecurities that grow.

Oh the weight of the mask

grows each and every day.

As you continue to pack

all your secrets away.

Until the day comes

when there’s too much to haul.

Try as you will

you still stumble and fall.

 


My Mask

Sometimes i go to school

wearing a heavy mask.

I can be lots of things

a person without any scars or stings.

I can be a normal girl

as normal as can be.

Sometimes I'm invisible

where my feelings can't be seen.

I pretend to be someone else

I perhaps might not know.

But what i feel inside

I fear I'll never show

My mask stays with me

in darkness and in light,

in the sunny warmth of day

or in the cold loneliness of night.

So who you might see now

be careful it might not be me.

My feelings so hidden

never let out to be free.


Alone

A littlegirl sits in a closet,

Lonely andafraid.

She’s in thedarkness hiding,

She’ll staythere all her life.

 She knowsthat she’s unworthy of love,

Her mothertold her so.

If yourmother cannot love you

Then whoelse would ever do so?

 The bruiseson her skin will fade,

But thescars inside will stay.

They’ll keepher locked up in the closet

For all hergloomy days.

 And so shesits lost in the dark,

No one knowsshe’s there.

The dirtylittle secret in the closet,

She’ll staythere all her life.

 


We Wear the Mask

    We wear the mask that grins and lies,

    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—

    This debt we pay to human guile;

    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

    And mouth with myriad subtleties.

    Why should the world be over-wise,

    In counting all our tears and sighs?

    Nay, let them only see us, while

            We wear the mask.

    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

    To thee from tortured souls arise.

    We sing, but oh the clay is vile

    Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

    But let the world dream otherwise,

            We wear the mask!

 




Categories: Life, School, Work

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1 Comment

Reply Marcelle Torbert
4:20 AM on November 2, 2014 
that moment when you realize you're not going to be the thing you assumed you would become, along with the continued pressure of attempting to attain it? Done that a few times over; terrifying but liberating...