|Posted by Olivia Lawrence on July 15, 2013 at 3:40 AM|
I don't get around to writing posts all that often, something that I havesworn time and again to work on. As I sit here writing this one it isreally only another way for me to procrastinate further. What am I putting off this time? Packing.
I have now set a date for moving. OnAugust 17th I’ll be on the road to Berkeley. So with a month to get everything settled,why have I yet to pack a single thing? Becausethe very thought of it is painful. Whenever I sit down to really think about where to start I begin to lookaround and imagine what the room will look like with all of my stuff gone. I think about watching every trace of medisappear slowly over the next month and it pains me. Because while there are parts of this movethat I can’t help but be glad for, going to an amazing school, living in theBay area, getting away from the heat and suffocating conservatism of southernCalifornia, as I prepare to actually move the sad parts begin to surface.
As the reality of moving 8 hours away from the person I love and have livedwith for 4 years hits home, it feels a bit like ripping a part of myselfaway. I don’t know how I’m going to copewith not seeing him every day, with going to bed alone every night. This isgoing to be so hard to deal with, and I honestly don’t know how I will. I know I’m being extraordinarily melancholyabout the whole thing right now, and that once I’m distracted with school timewill move by rapidly, but sometimes you don’t realize how much just someone’svery presence affects your daily life until you begin to picture going day today without them.
So here I sit, procrastinating the packing that inevitably must be done inthe next month, because I just don’t want to look around the room and notpicture myself here anymore. Childish,ridiculous, and pointlessly sentimental, but that’s what I’m doing.